Welcome to the second episode of series of articles celebrating the craziest XR devices I’ve come across. They might be cool XR solutions that were completely ahead of their time, or just some stuff that will make you wonder “What the hell?”. But in any case, they are devices worth a (funny) comment. In the first episode, we talked about some amazing things like the Ekto VR shoes, and now in this episode we’re going to see some other crazy things, like an installation that made you fly in VR! Are you ready?
(Remember, these articles are made for fun, I like to joke about these crazy things, but I’m actually a big lover of all crazy inventions… and if you find your product in this post, you should consider – as a token of gratitude!)
PlayStation foot controller
In a patent filed by the team behind the PlayStation, the company proposed that a controller that lets you walk in virtual reality with your feet. It is made of two big tracking balls which you can rotate with your feet to walk and turn in virtual reality. I’m a guy who hated trackballs even when I had to use them with my hands, you can imagine my love by watching this abomination to be used with the feet. It seems totally unusable to me, it seems like it was made just to violate any usability rules. Not to mention the fact that it looks like something you have to use with bare feet to ensure the correct accuracy of movements, meaning that after prolonged use, this thing might start to smell like cured cheese.
I guess the guy who designed it a passion for hamsters and a foot fetishand decided to invent a device that would be able to do this mix your two interests. I’m sure Quentin Tarantino will buy a few, but I’ll pass…
You can read more about it at this link: https://www.tweaktown.com/news/95153/sony-patents-odd-vr-foot-controller-with-giant-trackballs/index.html
Mutalk
If someone made the fetish controller out of love for hamsters, I guess the love of dogs led the design of the Mutalk. Mutalk is a device that looks like a dog’s muzzle that you can bring yourself to silence your mouth, so that people in virtual reality can hear what you say, while the people around you in real life won’t. The device works very well for this second purpose: after seeing you with that thing on your face, you can be sure that all your friends will abandon you, so there will never be anyone around to hear what you are saying in virtual reality.
In fact, I think that more than a muzzle in the real world, We would also need a virtual muzzle to silence all the children in the virtual reality social worlds. I hope they are working on this product as well. Seeing all the posts complaining about kids in VR would sell like hotcakes.
The company that offers Mutalk is called Shiftall. I know you read it wrong: remember, the “f” comes before the “t”. The name with the letters reversed, shit falls, is instead a representation of my life.
You can read more about this device (which reached its second edition!) on its official website: https://en.shiftall.net/products/mutalk2
Dentsu Hug Dummy
If everyone in your life has abandoned you because they saw you wearing the Mutalk but you still need to feel the warm feeling of hugging someone, don’t worry because Dentsu has got you covered.
He has developed a solution called “Hugtics”: allows you to wear a special haptic vest, with which you have to hug a special mannequin to feel the sensation of hugs. The vest features artificial muscles to let you feel the hug, plus colorful LEDs that change color based on the emotion you’re feeling, so you can visualize your hug too.
This is the most “forever alone” piece of technology I’ve ever seen.
You can get more information on their official website: https://motiondatalab.com/hugtics/
The VR masturbation capsules
Eeehm…cough…cough…maybe In fact, there is more “forever alone” technology…
A few years ago I read this post about a company that wants to replace existing phone booths with “masturbation pussies.” Because you know, pay phones are becoming useless these days, so we have to think of creative ways to use these boxes on the street. And of course, the first thought that comes to mind when you think of how to use these sites is to turn them into… well, that, right?
Reading the news made me curious. I have a few questions about it:
- On today’s phone booths it is clearly written that they are phone booths. Future M-pods will also have it written clearly, so everyone knows you need some love, or will it still be written as phone booths to keep your true intentions from revealing?
- If it still says “phone booth”, won’t it be suspicious to your friends that every time you go out with them? do you have to use phone booths 3-4 times even if you have a new generation smartphone?
- Do I really have to hold the controllers that the man before me was using?
- It is the point before the reason Did Meta invest so much in reliable manual tracking? Boz, we need an answer…
- It’s inside a hugging Hugtics mannequin if i want some hugs after?
- Will the walls of the boxes be transparent? like in today’s phone booths or can i have some privacy?
- Is Superman still going to change clothes in there? Will you disinfect the site first? Does he wear glasses because he’s a frequent pod user?
The first step of the idea was to actually start offer pods to companies to relax employees. You can read about this idea here: https://futurism.com/the-byte/company-vr-masturbation-pod
Stretched VR
Today is Monday and like all of you, when the alarm went off, I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. so what if we could live our whole lives lying in bed?
It seems that some researchers are working on it: thanks to a tip from Ivan Aguilar, I learned about all the experiments of a Japanese team on feel like you’re standing in virtual reality while you’re lying on a bed. That way, you can wake up, put on a headset, and feel like stopping while you’re still in bed. This is my life’s dream come true. This is the next generation couch potato: to be a sofa you need to at least get out of bed, take a few steps and sit on the sofa. It’s even beyond Wallie, when people were sitting. You can be super lazy here. We should fund it more.
An example of such studies can be found in the video below:
$39,000 Vision Pro
These days we are all discussing the sales numbers of the XR headphones, commenting how hard is it for the Apple Vision Pro to have big sales with a price tag of $3500. And do you know how many people in the community said that the Vision Pro is too cheap and should be much more expensive? Literally no one, but someone did anyway.
Thinking $3500 is a peasant price, Luxury brand Caviar has invented a case for the Apple Vision Pro that costs $39,000.
The funniest thing about all of this is that to get to this price, the cover includes 3.3 pounds (about 1.5 kg) of gold. The Vision Pro is already front on its own, and with all that gold on top, it will probably break your neck. You spend $39,000 for coverage and then you have to spend another $39,000 for physical therapy. And it’s even worse than from the pictures it looks like the cover has glass in the front too, which can degrade the quality of your streaming view and the impact of the EyeSight screen effect. So you spend a lot of money to ruin your neck and headphones – basically, a lot.
At this point, if you want to show your friends that you have money, you can burn 50 Quest 3 in front of them… it would be even cheaper and doesn’t require you to ruin your Vision Pro…
You can read a report about it here: https://www.cultofmac.com/822213/covering-apple-vision-pro-with-18k-gold-raises-price-to-a-mere-39000/
Air flow
MindRide Airflow was one of the coolest projects from the good old days of Oculus. I had forgotten about it, though superexpert Ori Inbar pointed it out to me as a device to put on this list. In Airflow you had to wear a huge harness, an Oculus Rift DK 2 headset (yes, it’s been a while) and be in a chamber where a large fan blew air at you. outside, you looked like you were tied up in a BDSM roombut from the inside you could have the amazing feeling of flying. In fact, the device received rave reviews from journalists who tested it.
Unfortunately, it seems MindRide closed its doors a few years ago. Probably their people realized that to get the feeling of flying it is easier and cheaper to just take some mushrooms…
The epic Kent Bye did a podcast episode about them and you can listen to it here: https://www.roadtovr.com/flying-vr-mindrides-airflow-takes-immersion-next-level/
BONUS: Pants Pants Revolution
From the Oculus Rift DK 2 times, I also want to remember a gem of a game: Pants Pants Revolution. It was a little Dance Dance Revolution, a little Guitar Hero, and a lot What The Fuck… judge for yourself from the video:
I think Meta should announce this game at the next Meta Connect… Who needs GTA VR when you can make a game where you take your pants off to the beat of the music? This may become the most played game in masturbation pods…
This is the end of the second episode in this series of articles about the crazy XR devices I’ve seen over the years! Don’t forget to send me a list of some crazy, experimental, or nonsensical XR products you know of so I can feature them in the next episode! Be hungry, be crazy, my friends!
(Header Image by Shiftall)
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